Just what every home needs

In the summer I spend a lot of time on my front porch. Even in the morning I have one chair that can be in the shade. Now the thing makes a good porch a friendly place than to have it safe. I mean, a turkey or a deer might get too close. Even that @#$#% feral gray cat that eats on the back deck while being stared at from the safety of the screened-in living room by 3 pairs of feline eyes might have the effrontery of invading the front door if it were not well guarded. One can't be too careful about these things.