Thursday, May 21

To reiterate, Agnes has her own blog now at http://gettingagneswell.blogspot.com/. This one is going back to being about me.

It is kind of a routine now, wake up with a start when the first photon slides through the drapes, make tea, feed the cats, get it together and try to watch the 30 mph speed limit as I drive through the residential streets to get here a little after 6. I hike up 2 stories of stairs and come to Mom's room, glancing at all the monitor readouts before I ever look at her sleeping in bed.


I arrange my stuff around my chair, fix the power cords so no one will trip, lock down the laptop and turn it on, go out and talk to the night nurse to find out if anything has changed. Time to rummage in the cabinet for teabags, see if any peanut butter has magically shown up, hike down 3 flights of stairs to the cafeteria in the basement to get a clean styro cup and straw, some milk and oatmeal. Today as I pay, the cashier asks me if I work here. No, I tell her, my mother is here, and she nods sadly. Back upstairs, wash my hands as I go back in her room, where I sit and chat with the day nurse, the respiratory therapist, the 4 docs and the cleaning lady as they pass through in turn. So here I sit, rummaging through e-mail and looking for applications to send to customers, leaving occasionally to hike the stairs for more hot water, washing my hands, and sitting.

I am hoping we can reduce the sedation after we get her ventilator fixed. I am anxious to do my real job here, patting and encouraging, opening cards and reading them to Mother, standing over her and smiling. This sitting stuff isn't much help.