The Chicago O’Hare Whatever

I just had the good fortune to spend 3 nights in the Chicago O’Hare Hilton with some 300 of my closest colleagues. Pretty good meeting, actually, although it would have been more fun if the hula dancing had been by our management team than the girls they hired. And so I am languishing in the Chicago O’Hare Airport, because, being Chicago in February, it is fixing to snow and all the departure boards have a lot of ‘Cancelled’ lines on them.

There are a number of things I like about this airport, however. The local Berghof’s café has a sandwich stand with good meats (hey, it’s the Midwest) and a very good lager (which the lady who sat across from me spilled all over the lady next to her, poor thing, who will smell like beer for the rest of her (delayed) trip). I like the tunnel between terminals that plays the United song with the neon tubes. I LOVE the brontosaurus skeleton near the security exit in terminal B. But the toilet seat covers in the ladies’ rooms comprise my main entertainment. Some lucky salesman sold the airport a system that automatically rolls a new plastic sleeve over the toilet seats for each new patron. Nifty little motor hums and does all the dirty work. I’ve never seen them anywhere else. Not as techy as the ones in the local brauhaus in Germany, where the whole seat rotates under a UV lamp that is supposed to sanitize the seat, but I would think the plastic sleeves are more protective. I could do a short dissertation on the various modern forms of Thomas Crapper’s invention, but I see my gate is starting to board and I’m trying to get out of here before the snow hits.

What I do for a living

Much to my surprise, Agilent Technologies has posted a couple of cool videos on YouTube. This one is my bread-and-butter product
This one is the same actor, and to us, also very funny . These were my lab before they spent mega$$ on the new Center of Excellence (sorry, that's really what they call it). For a greybeard organization, someone has a sense of humor.

The angry lizard

I looked out the kitchen window to see a 6" post lizard clamped on to Tootsie's neck fur. Tootsie was wildly dancing and swatting at it. Now although Tootsie has the chocolate temperature-sensitive pigmentation of a Siamese, the rest of her, the stubby legs, chubby body and especially the dense fur with lush undercoat, arises from a different genetic heritage. I rushed out to rescue the lizard (Tootsie, of course, was in no danger) to find the lizard on the walk, mouth open and hissing in fury. It was morning and still cold, so he wasn't fast enough to be able to go anywhere this time of day. I picked it up with a dishcloth and took it to the geranium patch where my other Kitties rest in peace. The lizard was firmly clamped onto the cloth, no shaking it loose. You have to admire the fight in this one who was not about to take any hassle just because the mammals were bigger than it was.



Now my yard is a Certified Backyard Habitat although it is primarily my front yard we are talking about here.We have many large rocks where the lizards can live under and sun themselves or do pushups, two sources of water, and a mix of native plants and hummingbird-attracting flowers. I bell the cats when required to keep the predation minimal. This lizard eventually got deported to my neighbor's rosemary when we found Tootsie keeping him company later in the afternoon.

Have a good life, Lizard, it will be mating season soon and we need you in the gene pool.

the airport thing

I am a bit of an odd duck in that I like airports, as opposed to just tolerating them as a way to get there. No, not the security and the lines, of course, but walking around in the mini-malls and seeing how the city views itself. The PHX airport, for example, sells lovely cheap vinyl purses with beads all over that make them very expensive. You can put a lot of bling on a denim jacket and sell it for a couple of hundred bucks there. They have airplanes woven into the carpet, although the walkways connecting the wings are otherwise boring and uninspiring. SFO does great displays of tile, recording devices, scrimshaw - something new all the time. The ELP airport seems much nicer than the city of El Paso. I could spend some time here, and the boots on display are quite elegant.

I like that people are so unselfconscious and one can just sit and stare and no one seems to notice being watched. People eat, drink, talk on the phone or occasionally to each other but don't look at me watch them. People at an office, at the grocery store or other public building are for the most part homogeneous and display behavior appropriate for the place, but it seems to be anything goes at an airport. You see all kinds of dress, hear all kinds of phone conversations that would be embarrassing to hear in any other setting. Because there are so many people and everyone is intent on getting their seat on the big silver bird, it's like no one else is on the floor. It is as close as I will come to being invisible.

new quilting show

I have only made a few wall hangings, not a real quilt. But my fingers and heart are in the right place, and I look forward to our local quilt show, Pacific International Quilt Festival every year (well, they do have wearable art as well). So I'm happy to tell you to watch for a new quilting program at this link . It should be in March. See you there.

Civilization at the Maple Leaf Lounge

Vancouver has a lovely airport that is reasonably efficient on most days. Prominent Canadian art is displayed amongst the usual airport newsstands, even some great wearable art on display. A 10 foot plush polar bear with long black fake claws is maybe not art, but fun. There’s a Crabtree and Evelyn soap store to drop off the $5 Canadian bill that would otherwise get lost in the dresser. But the airport club lounge that services AirCanada and United is particularly civilized. There are not one but 2 cappuccino machines, they have lovely veggies and fruit as well as the cookies, a big stainless steel refrigerator full of beer, sauvignon blanc and drinks, and at least 20 bottles of assorted spirits in a self service bar. Truly worth coming to the airport early to partake of the free delights. I don’t have to drive for some hours yet! Life is good and I get to sleep in my own bed with my favorite mammals tonight.

Ettiquete for a Scientific Meeting

Just my private rant about public behavior:

For most of you, thanks for your interest and friendliness as you walked past my booth and poster. It really makes me enjoy being here. However

Watching you teeter on your spike heels makes my back hurt.

Turning your badge over so I can't see your company name is tacky. Hey, it's a small meeting and I've already figured out where you work.

Spell out the title to your presentation in plain English. I am not here to translate your alphabet soup.

The stone in the stud in your nose should match the sparklies on the back of your jeans.

If you are President and want to bring your St. Bernard onto the show floor, it's OK with me.

If you are Dr. Big Professor who was on my organizing committee for 5 years at the last company, it's tacky to look through me as if you don't recognize me.

If you are Dr. Big Pharmaceutical who tried to stiff my company with the hotel bill in Chile, yes, I still remember.

And finally, don't hunker down on the floor under your poster and immerse yourself in your computer. It makes your butt-crack show, and inquiring minds DON'T want to know about your hairy back. Not to mention being rude to your readers. Euwww.